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They are gatekeepers to a massive population of potential partners; they control who we meet and how. So Consumer Reports decided to survey almost 115,000 subscribers about online dating and their experiences with it.

But the responses from the more active group suggest they’re highly frustrated.“All kinds of people are doing it,” says Caploe, 54, a publisher who lives in New York City.“It was—unbelievably—not a crazy experience.” Online dating has certainly lost its lonely-hearts stigma.“It’s a product of the growing normalcy of using social media apps,” says Moira Weigel, author of “Labor of Love: The Invention of Online Dating” (Farrar, Straus & Giroux, 2016).“Our real-life and online identities are more and more interwoven.” Because of this cultural shift, online dating sites now have unprecedented reach into our lives. Reams have been written about online dating, but as far as we know, no one has put the sites to the test.

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